Day 7 - Meditation

These past two days I've been working with sitting meditation for the first time in a very long time. Previously, I lived among a community of Buddhists at the Dharma House in Boulder, CO and began to practice meditation by osmosis. But I never considered myself a Buddhist, nor did I choose to follow that path.

Since then, I've tapped two other traditions, one Hindu and one Left Hand Path. Neither of them gave me the tools I needed personally to live my life, which has been spiritually fallow for too long. I'm definitely not interested in "joining" any religion. Nope. Been there, done that, and it gives me the willies. But at the same time, I've been missing something in my life, which has felt flat for a very long time.

Of all the paths I've touched, I have the least hesitation with Buddhist meditation and mindfulness. It feels comfortable enough for me to settle down and allow it to expand my being. It brings with it the least negative reactions, the least wariness, the least attachment to things that leave me empty and hurting.

What does this have to do with herbs? All I can say is that plants and herbs are spirit in their own way, their healing power, their wisdom, the things they can teach us if we only open ourselves to them. It seems to me that one must be in a receptive state of mind to benefit from their teachings. And my mind has been anything except receptive. I've been rushing around, anxious, gloomy, excitable, hurt, angry, and every emotion other humans have, letting my emotions hold sway over my life like clouds over the sun.

Now I already know that Buddhism isn't an easy path. In fact, it's very demanding, but in a healing way. It's cleansing, restorative, and gently pushes one to become more aware and responsible for one's life. Not to say I'm going to "become" a Buddhist. But I discovered some wonderful audio files that re-introduced me to the power of meditation practice as well as made me aware of how much I don't know.

The beauty of listening to audio files is that for now I'm not distracted by personalities in a larger group of practitioners. There always seem to be the dominant group and the "followers" and a wide variety of each, but I keep my distance from the dominant ones because I'm always hyper-aware that they might be setting up hierarchies as well as control of the "followers." My experience shows me that it's human nature to do so, but that Buddhism has had the least penchant to fall into that trap. At any rate, I can practice acclimating myself to the ways without anyone's ego in the room except my own.

And I have caffeine and weight issues which I think can be addressed by regular mindful practice both formal and in my daily life. I'm going to give it a try...well, more than a try. I'm going to dedicate myself to this practice for a time and see what comes of it.

I think I'll build myself a meditation bench similar to the one pictured above. It's 16" long x 8" wide x 7 1/4" high with torque hinges.