I've been thinking about the ideas of "efficiency" and "usefulness" as applied to the work ethic and the value of a human being in these times where huge numbers of people are experiencing major upheaval in their lives. I recalled a lecture by Watts I heard on KPFK radio some 10 years ago on the idea of "usefulness." I think it may have been called "Wisdom of the Ridiculous." I took comfort in the idea that one need not be linked to the western idea of what is "useful" in order to be a complete person. In fact, "usefulness" is an artificial hype we've been taught to accept as doctrine.
My memory of Alan Watts is of lying on my bed in a log cabin deep in the cool and shady Santa Cruz Mountains where moss proliferates beneath redwood trees and creeks riffle beneath ferns reading a worn copy of Notes to Myself by Hugh Prather and Watts' The Wisdom of Insecurity.
It was 1972 and I was as lost then as I am now, only lost in a different way. Watts makes me realize I am lost because I compare myself to others and try to "fit in" to the larger consensus of reality, when "myself" and "reality" has little to do with what I was taught. I was pleased to find a collection of videos that presents snippets of Watts' lectures this morning. A list of 78 of his lectures may be found here. Youtube also has lots of his teachings.
I took the time to write about Watts this morning because of an essay I read in the Summer 2010 edition of Oregon Humanities magazine yesterday called "The Artist as Worker," which underscores what I already know: For every writer who is "successful" because s/he learned how to market her/his work and become a celebrity, there are hundreds, maybe thousands of writers who labor in quiet anonymity. Writing isn't about the writer. Writing is about the writing. That's something all artists understood in the middle ages but has been forgotten now that everything is prostituted to money and fame. Now as I bend over my keyboard and notebook writhing with self-doubt, I cast a line out toward Watts and listen for my own wisdom.
Replacing Commercial Household Products with DIY Products
Times are getting tough. Money is getting scarce. Why should I keep buying products that are more and more expensive and are harmful to body and environment? We've been duped into thinking we have to have things a certain way: to look, smell, feel, taste, sound the way we expect them to be according to corporate say-so. Over the past ten years I've been slowly replacing commercial products with my own homemade formulations. Here are a few substitutes that have worked beautifully:
Bar Soap: A friend of mine who taught soap-making classes taught me how to make cold-process soap. I haven't bought a bar of commercial soap since. Even boutique bar soaps are too expensive for me at $6 or more a bar. It's DIY all the way with this. There are plenty of websites and books to use as guides.
Shampoo: I make my own bar shampoo, using glycerine as one of the ingredients. No waste, no plastic, and I know exactly what goes into it: oils, water, sodium hydroxide, glycerine, and essential or fragrance oils. With a vinegar rinse it cleanses gently, thoroughly, and no soap build-up. Shiny, clean-smelling hair every time.
Dish Soap: Forget the liquid dish detergent mentality! I bought a lovely wire soap dish and stuck it on the wall behind my kitchen sink. The wire allows the soap to drain and dry out when not in use. A natural brush, like a Brooks from Switzerland, hangs next to the bar of homemade soap. I just wet the brush, rub it on the bar of soap and start the suds on dishes, pots and pans, whatever needs washing. Everything is simple, natural, and easy on the hands.
Tooth powder: What are you putting in your mouth? I make my own tooth powder that tightens gums and cleans tartar and plaque like a charm using baking soda, cosmetic clay, fine sea salt, powdered myrrh, natural peppermint oil and stevia powder (the last two ingredients are optional, for taste). My gums have tightened and my teeth have never felt so clean (I do use an electric toothbrush because I don't have dental insurance and I have to be sure that my teeth are clean...clean teeth don't decay. I also use dental floss, but neither of these two things are harmful to my health as far as I know.)
Deodorant: I make my own using baking soda, corn starch, cosmetic clay, and tea tree oil. Next time I want to experiment mixing these ingredients into melted coconut oil and letting it all harden. I don't think I'll pour it into blank deodorant containers because they're plastic, regardless of how much easier it would be to apply.
Household cleaners: I make my own all-purpose household cleaner using water, vinegar, liquid Castille soap, and borax in a sprayer. Essential or fragrance oil is optional. I use it on hard surfaces as well as for removing spots from fabrics. It works well on mirrors, counter tops, plastic, metal, enamel, you name it. For more scrubbing power I use a scrubby and the legendary Bon Ami scouring powder. Once in awhile I do use bleach (ugh) to clean around the toilet because it begins to stink with urine and whenever there's mold and mildew build-up. I haven't found a substitute for bleach yet, but I'm on the look-out.
How to Make Your Own Laundry Detergent: I haven't tried this yet, but I'm intrigued. You can find the recipe here.
And lastly (for now), since we live in a rental and can't install a permanent gray water system, we save all our dish washing water to flush our toilet and warm our shower water in a bucket to water plants. We're also planning a way to save rain water.
Bar Soap: A friend of mine who taught soap-making classes taught me how to make cold-process soap. I haven't bought a bar of commercial soap since. Even boutique bar soaps are too expensive for me at $6 or more a bar. It's DIY all the way with this. There are plenty of websites and books to use as guides.
Shampoo: I make my own bar shampoo, using glycerine as one of the ingredients. No waste, no plastic, and I know exactly what goes into it: oils, water, sodium hydroxide, glycerine, and essential or fragrance oils. With a vinegar rinse it cleanses gently, thoroughly, and no soap build-up. Shiny, clean-smelling hair every time.
Dish Soap: Forget the liquid dish detergent mentality! I bought a lovely wire soap dish and stuck it on the wall behind my kitchen sink. The wire allows the soap to drain and dry out when not in use. A natural brush, like a Brooks from Switzerland, hangs next to the bar of homemade soap. I just wet the brush, rub it on the bar of soap and start the suds on dishes, pots and pans, whatever needs washing. Everything is simple, natural, and easy on the hands.
Tooth powder: What are you putting in your mouth? I make my own tooth powder that tightens gums and cleans tartar and plaque like a charm using baking soda, cosmetic clay, fine sea salt, powdered myrrh, natural peppermint oil and stevia powder (the last two ingredients are optional, for taste). My gums have tightened and my teeth have never felt so clean (I do use an electric toothbrush because I don't have dental insurance and I have to be sure that my teeth are clean...clean teeth don't decay. I also use dental floss, but neither of these two things are harmful to my health as far as I know.)
Deodorant: I make my own using baking soda, corn starch, cosmetic clay, and tea tree oil. Next time I want to experiment mixing these ingredients into melted coconut oil and letting it all harden. I don't think I'll pour it into blank deodorant containers because they're plastic, regardless of how much easier it would be to apply.
Household cleaners: I make my own all-purpose household cleaner using water, vinegar, liquid Castille soap, and borax in a sprayer. Essential or fragrance oil is optional. I use it on hard surfaces as well as for removing spots from fabrics. It works well on mirrors, counter tops, plastic, metal, enamel, you name it. For more scrubbing power I use a scrubby and the legendary Bon Ami scouring powder. Once in awhile I do use bleach (ugh) to clean around the toilet because it begins to stink with urine and whenever there's mold and mildew build-up. I haven't found a substitute for bleach yet, but I'm on the look-out.
How to Make Your Own Laundry Detergent: I haven't tried this yet, but I'm intrigued. You can find the recipe here.
And lastly (for now), since we live in a rental and can't install a permanent gray water system, we save all our dish washing water to flush our toilet and warm our shower water in a bucket to water plants. We're also planning a way to save rain water.
Dharma and Death
After a friend of mine who's had huge obstacles to overcome and a challenging life began meditating he saw some amazingly positive changes in his life, specifically in his health. His presence is calming and balanced, and his years of practice definitely show. Today he told me about the time a friend of his was dying and he asked his girlfriend (a therapist) if she had any resources he could use to give comfort to his friend. She produced a copy of Sogyal Rinpoche's Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. He read it and it sent his practice to a new level.
I went home and found a .pdf version online. After I downloaded it I saw it's 451 pages long! I'm not a big fan of reading online files, but it's free, so I'm not complaining. I've long wished I had more understanding of the connections between life and death and sought the sadly missing pieces of these truths in western society. My only recourse was fear, the funeral industry, and religious mind control. No wonder death is shoved behind the curtain and reviled and separated from the living. I mean, what can be more important than preparing for the inevitable? So...this book opens a door that has been long closed for me. I'm grateful.
The Healing Power of Herbs
The big pharma companies (and oil and religious sectors) control the US government, the medical industry, and just about everything else, we all know this.
And those in control plus the wealthiest elite are quietly putting their defenses into place while we work our asses off to buy enough food for our families. In the meantime, the underground is gearing up and the pressure is building. Things that have been kept from us (such as the healing power of herbs including cannabis) are beginning to surface: It's all about power; FOLLOW THE MONEY. The cat's out of the bag; the toothpaste is out of the tube. Things are going to get uglier before they get better. Do a search for "THC kills cancer cells," for one small example. Some critical reading on medical marijuana could begin here:
The Bud Book
How Pot Kills Cancer Cells
"Big Pharma's interest in continuing [medical marijuana] prohibition is clear considering that the pharmaceutical industry is the most profitable of all U.S. businesses--in 2006, global spending on prescription drugs topped $643 billion, with the United States accounting for almost half of the market. A significant portion of Big Pharma's products are pain relievers, anti-emetics, anti-depressants, mood regulators, sleep-aids, and appetite stimulants--drugs that can be replaced with cannabis. Since cannabis is a plant and cannot be patented and profited off of [by Big Pharma], cannabis regulation will cause Big Pharma to lose billions of dollars."--Jeffrey Oropeza, "Know Thy Opponent Despite Progress" in Treating Yourself magazine
And those in control plus the wealthiest elite are quietly putting their defenses into place while we work our asses off to buy enough food for our families. In the meantime, the underground is gearing up and the pressure is building. Things that have been kept from us (such as the healing power of herbs including cannabis) are beginning to surface: It's all about power; FOLLOW THE MONEY. The cat's out of the bag; the toothpaste is out of the tube. Things are going to get uglier before they get better. Do a search for "THC kills cancer cells," for one small example. Some critical reading on medical marijuana could begin here:
The Bud Book
How Pot Kills Cancer Cells
Pot Shrinks Tumors; Government Knew in '74
M-scale
Treating Yourself
A Healing Path
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Hamlet, Act 1, Scene V
First I read The Egg and then I read about abandoning all views of the self. I've begun to think on these things.
Drinking 12 oz of water every day and listening to talks on dharma and meditating for 20 minutes every day have already begun to gently transform subtle increments in my awareness, towards the restoration of my humanity.
Day 12 - My Garden Medicine Chest
I just replanted a crop of white sage from a clay pot to my flower bed. I realized that I have quite a few medicinal plants--a growing medicine cabinet in my (and/or my daughter's) yard. The white sage is lovely for sacred rites and room cleansing when it's dried and burned. The fragrance is wonderfully clean, and it lifts the spirit.
Here are eight more absolute must-have herbs I grow (or plan to grow or snag from my daughter's garden) for my family that have healed wonderfully over the years.
Ruta Graveolens is unbeatable for rubbing on sore muscles and tendons, from inflammation and overwork. I make ointment from it with almond oil and beeswax and pour it into jars or tins to harden. Rub it on every day as often as possible and over time, you will localize the injury, and then you can concentrate on rubbing on that spot. In a few days or weeks the trauma will have healed.
Comfrey is one of the most soothing and healing plants for bone injuries or inflammation. I make salves and apply as above. The root is the most potent part of this plant. The leaves and root are good for internal healing.
I'm not actually growing Arnica Montana, but it's on my wishlist. There's nothing like it for bruising. Using salves and teas made from it does wonders for being over-tired or sore from over-working muscles. There are other types of Arnica, but be certain you grow the Montana variety, as it is most specific.
For injuries of the nerves, nothing beats Hypericum, (you may know it better as St. Johnwort) made into salve for topical and tincture for internal applications. Limit your tincture intake to two weeks, and be sure it doesn't counteract with any pharmaceutical drugs you are taking (ask your doctor).
Mullein, or Verbascum, is incredibly soothing for swollen tissues of all kinds. You can make a tincture to put into the ear for earaches, make a salve for hemorrhoids, drink a concoction (tea) and/or smoke the leaves in a pipe for lung problems. It grows wild in Oregon where I live.
Calendula officinalis, or pot marigold, is excellent to make into tinctures and salves for cuts, scrapes, and open wounds. It's easy to find in any nursery supply. It works as well or better than most OTC topical products in healing wounds. I've combined calendula tincture with eyebright tincture in an eyecup with saline solution as an eyewash, and it speeds healing of injured eyes. A must-have for any medicinal herb garden! It reseeds itself every year. Cut the blossoms and dry the petals, then make a salve or tincture.
Chamomile is lovely for relaxation. Make a tea from it, or dry it and put it into a small sachet for sleep. Add lavender for extra wonderful-ness.
Peppermint tea is wonderful for digestion after a heavy meal, and if you mix it with calendula, it makes a fine remedy for times when your stomach just feels out of sorts. Try also adding chamomile. It's delicious just by itself, too.
So these are the nine essential medicinal herbs to grow if you want a ready medicine cabinet. There are many more wonderful medicinals, but these are the basics. Dry the herbs for winter, and remember to double or triple the amount of fresh herb in ratio to dried herb for potency because the fresh herb has a lot of water in it.
White Sage
Ruta Graveolens
Ruta Graveolens is unbeatable for rubbing on sore muscles and tendons, from inflammation and overwork. I make ointment from it with almond oil and beeswax and pour it into jars or tins to harden. Rub it on every day as often as possible and over time, you will localize the injury, and then you can concentrate on rubbing on that spot. In a few days or weeks the trauma will have healed.
Comfrey
Comfrey is one of the most soothing and healing plants for bone injuries or inflammation. I make salves and apply as above. The root is the most potent part of this plant. The leaves and root are good for internal healing.
Arnica Montana
I'm not actually growing Arnica Montana, but it's on my wishlist. There's nothing like it for bruising. Using salves and teas made from it does wonders for being over-tired or sore from over-working muscles. There are other types of Arnica, but be certain you grow the Montana variety, as it is most specific.
Hypericum
For injuries of the nerves, nothing beats Hypericum, (you may know it better as St. Johnwort) made into salve for topical and tincture for internal applications. Limit your tincture intake to two weeks, and be sure it doesn't counteract with any pharmaceutical drugs you are taking (ask your doctor).
Mullein
Mullein, or Verbascum, is incredibly soothing for swollen tissues of all kinds. You can make a tincture to put into the ear for earaches, make a salve for hemorrhoids, drink a concoction (tea) and/or smoke the leaves in a pipe for lung problems. It grows wild in Oregon where I live.
Calendula
Calendula officinalis, or pot marigold, is excellent to make into tinctures and salves for cuts, scrapes, and open wounds. It's easy to find in any nursery supply. It works as well or better than most OTC topical products in healing wounds. I've combined calendula tincture with eyebright tincture in an eyecup with saline solution as an eyewash, and it speeds healing of injured eyes. A must-have for any medicinal herb garden! It reseeds itself every year. Cut the blossoms and dry the petals, then make a salve or tincture.
Chamomile
Chamomile is lovely for relaxation. Make a tea from it, or dry it and put it into a small sachet for sleep. Add lavender for extra wonderful-ness.
Peppermint
Peppermint tea is wonderful for digestion after a heavy meal, and if you mix it with calendula, it makes a fine remedy for times when your stomach just feels out of sorts. Try also adding chamomile. It's delicious just by itself, too.
So these are the nine essential medicinal herbs to grow if you want a ready medicine cabinet. There are many more wonderful medicinals, but these are the basics. Dry the herbs for winter, and remember to double or triple the amount of fresh herb in ratio to dried herb for potency because the fresh herb has a lot of water in it.
Day 11- Berry Picking on Sauvie Island
DTuesday, July 13. Last cool day of the summer. We drove to Sauvie Island to go berry picking. We brought home luscious blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries. NOTE: To see a photo better, click on it.
The last two photos were taken at the Island Cove market on the Columbia River where we stopped for a bite of lunch. The mosquitoes were having us for their lunch, so we ate fast and drove around a little more, then headed home. I particularly love the last photo because it reminds me of my Aunt Yvonne who loved hummingbirds. Whenever I see one, I think of her.
Speaking of mosquitoes and getting bites, the very best herbal salve to allay the itch I've ever found or made is called marsh tea, or Labrador tea, or wild rosemary, which is a rare but lovely plant that only grows in marshlands in a few spots. My guess is, like so many other species, agriculture and development has nearly destroyed its habitat. The only place I've ever found the dry herb here in the United States is at Wild Weeds. The people who work there are lovely. I ordered marsh tea from them and made a huge batch of ointment. Everyone in our family swears by its use in instantly relieving the itch of any bug bite, including spiders (so far, so good--no one's been bit by a poisonous spider).
I'm crying because it's nap time, but the blueberry still tastes good!
If you look carefully on the wagon rail in the photo above, you can see the little green frog who said hello and jumped away. We also saw many lovely flowers.
The last two photos were taken at the Island Cove market on the Columbia River where we stopped for a bite of lunch. The mosquitoes were having us for their lunch, so we ate fast and drove around a little more, then headed home. I particularly love the last photo because it reminds me of my Aunt Yvonne who loved hummingbirds. Whenever I see one, I think of her.
Speaking of mosquitoes and getting bites, the very best herbal salve to allay the itch I've ever found or made is called marsh tea, or Labrador tea, or wild rosemary, which is a rare but lovely plant that only grows in marshlands in a few spots. My guess is, like so many other species, agriculture and development has nearly destroyed its habitat. The only place I've ever found the dry herb here in the United States is at Wild Weeds. The people who work there are lovely. I ordered marsh tea from them and made a huge batch of ointment. Everyone in our family swears by its use in instantly relieving the itch of any bug bite, including spiders (so far, so good--no one's been bit by a poisonous spider).
Marsh Tea: Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons
Day 10 - Meditation Isn't Instant Bliss
At one time I was a vegetarian. Not any more. The only reason is because I seem to have the type of constitution that needs so much protein that I'm always hungry if I don't get enough. I know that eating meat isn't sustainable. I know it isn't healthy. What I can't figure out is how to feel satisfied with small, vegetarian meals and no eating between them. Part of me says that if I dedicate myself, meditation might calm the eating monsters. Another part says that there are no guarantees about anything.
Last night I encountered a very disagreeable and ill-willed side of a friend who put me in my place in front of a group of others as he way over-reacted (he's obviously insecure despite his macho facade) to a comment I made about his barbecued pork shoulder. Needless to say, I left the gathering because I no longer wanted to be in his presence. About a half an hour later, I began to feel ill and got the most vile and nauseating indigestion with horrible burp ups that tasted like his pork. I took some nux vomica and finally got to sleep around three a.m. I woke up this morning at six a.m. feeling wretched, as if I'd been poisoned. I took some more nux vomica, but it's not helping.
I've been trying to say "May he be happy, may he be safe, may he be healthy, may he be at peace," but my old self cries, "He poisoned my heart and body. He's a toxic person. Stay away from him!" I'm not strong enough yet in my meditation practice and insights to deal with this.
Last night I encountered a very disagreeable and ill-willed side of a friend who put me in my place in front of a group of others as he way over-reacted (he's obviously insecure despite his macho facade) to a comment I made about his barbecued pork shoulder. Needless to say, I left the gathering because I no longer wanted to be in his presence. About a half an hour later, I began to feel ill and got the most vile and nauseating indigestion with horrible burp ups that tasted like his pork. I took some nux vomica and finally got to sleep around three a.m. I woke up this morning at six a.m. feeling wretched, as if I'd been poisoned. I took some more nux vomica, but it's not helping.
I've been trying to say "May he be happy, may he be safe, may he be healthy, may he be at peace," but my old self cries, "He poisoned my heart and body. He's a toxic person. Stay away from him!" I'm not strong enough yet in my meditation practice and insights to deal with this.
Day 9 - Right Effort
Forecast says it's going to be 100 degrees today. My hips ache so much it's hard to do sitting meditation, but I managed 15 minutes today.
While I used to meditate on the edge of the Mahayana school, I always see myself as an absolute beginner, so I'm back to the novice state starting small, starting slow. Especially since I have physical limitations.
I've been listening to the dharma audio files,[see note] both the talks and the guided meditations. I have no idea where this path is going to take me. All I know is that I'm suffering and I'm going to die. How can I use what time I have left to heal myself and, in some small way, the entire planet? This question is what is fueling my intentions to follow a path of Metta, or loving kindness.
Note: There are many other sites that offer audio teachings, for example those found on the Tricycle Magazine site and on BuddhaNet
In the past few days I've begun to see how tight I am mentally, physically, spiritually. How my entire being is growing rigid as death whispers its promise. How very tragic to live a life without softening to what is, letting go, and wishing others happiness. My physical and mental pain distract me terribly, but my heart longs to step beyond my lack of mindfulness and concentration and grow as a human being. Finally.
Of course it won't be easy. I know that. I will have lots of setbacks. And there are no guarantees in life, not even that I'll keep on this path. All I can do is practice with heart, every day, with humble openness. Allowing myself to unfold, unraveling the tight stress and ill will that have attached themselves to me like barnacles throughout the course of my life.
Here is my goal, which I know I may not ever achieve; but it's the effort that counts.
After I wrote this post I wondered if there was a meditation center similar to the Insight Meditation Center in the Bay Area, so I did an online search for Portland and what I found was a surprise. There's an IMC within walking distance to my house! And there's even a weekly meditation tonight. I guess it's true. When you're ready for a teacher, one appears. I still have real second thoughts about the tendency toward group hierarchy. But maybe I should approach with an open mind and heart and if I feel uncomfortable at any time, I know I'm free to leave.
While I used to meditate on the edge of the Mahayana school, I always see myself as an absolute beginner, so I'm back to the novice state starting small, starting slow. Especially since I have physical limitations.
I've been listening to the dharma audio files,[see note] both the talks and the guided meditations. I have no idea where this path is going to take me. All I know is that I'm suffering and I'm going to die. How can I use what time I have left to heal myself and, in some small way, the entire planet? This question is what is fueling my intentions to follow a path of Metta, or loving kindness.
Note: There are many other sites that offer audio teachings, for example those found on the Tricycle Magazine site and on BuddhaNet
In the past few days I've begun to see how tight I am mentally, physically, spiritually. How my entire being is growing rigid as death whispers its promise. How very tragic to live a life without softening to what is, letting go, and wishing others happiness. My physical and mental pain distract me terribly, but my heart longs to step beyond my lack of mindfulness and concentration and grow as a human being. Finally.
Of course it won't be easy. I know that. I will have lots of setbacks. And there are no guarantees in life, not even that I'll keep on this path. All I can do is practice with heart, every day, with humble openness. Allowing myself to unfold, unraveling the tight stress and ill will that have attached themselves to me like barnacles throughout the course of my life.
Here is my goal, which I know I may not ever achieve; but it's the effort that counts.
METTA SUTTA
To reach the state of peace
Those skilled in the Good
Should be
Capable and upright,
Straightforward and easy to speak to,
Gentle and not proud,
Contented and easily supported,
Living lightly and with few duties,
Wise and with senses calmed,
Not arrogant and without greed for supporters,
And they should not do the least thing that the wise would criticize.
[They should reflect:]
"May all be happy and secure;
May all beings be happy at heart.
All living beings, whether weak or strong,
Tall, large, medium, or short,
Tiny or big,
Seen or unseen,
Near or distant,
Born or to be born,
May they all be happy."
Let no one deceive another
Or despise anyone anywhere;
Let no one through anger or aversion
Wish for others to suffer.
As a mother would risk her own life
To protect her child, her only child,
So toward all beings should one
Cultivate a boundless heart.
With loving-kindness for the whole world
Should one cultivate a boundless heart,
Above, below, and all around
Without obstruction, without hate and without ill-will.
Standing or walking, sitting or lying down,
As long as one is alert,
May one stay with this recollection.
This is called a sublime abiding, here and now.
Whoever is virtuous, endowed with vision,
Not taken by views,
And having overcome all greed for sensual pleasure
Will not be reborn again.
-Translated by Gil Fronsdal
After I wrote this post I wondered if there was a meditation center similar to the Insight Meditation Center in the Bay Area, so I did an online search for Portland and what I found was a surprise. There's an IMC within walking distance to my house! And there's even a weekly meditation tonight. I guess it's true. When you're ready for a teacher, one appears. I still have real second thoughts about the tendency toward group hierarchy. But maybe I should approach with an open mind and heart and if I feel uncomfortable at any time, I know I'm free to leave.
Day 8 - My Cold Turkey Jar
A couple days ago I found an empty canning jar on my shelf. I decided to use it as a water glass to stay hydrated as I moved toward kicking my coffee habit, which I wrote about on Day 6. It's true I only drank 1-2 cups of coffee a day, but even if I drank them before noon, I noticed a steady degradation of my sleeping patterns. Anyone who has experienced insomnia, even for one night, notices a parallel degradation of their day because the mind and body don't work as well with little or no sleep.
But back to the canning jar. I poured water into it nearly full and instead of sipping on it throughout the day, I chose to drink the entire jar of water. It holds 4 cups. I drank two of these the first day I went without coffee. I repeated this yesterday and I've already drunk my first jar this morning.
Here's what I notice. First, I'm on my third day of caffeine withdrawal. Granted, I haven't been drinking an excessive amount of coffee. But another time I decided to quit I had a horrible withdrawal period, even with only the 1-2 cup habit. I dreaded the period this time, and braced myself for it. But now I'm on day 3 and...no headache, no nausea, no body aches, no groggy feeling. I keep waiting for the shoe to fall, but so far, nothing.
I can't say for sure what is happening, or if the horrible withdrawal has only been postponed. But except for this morning when I didn't eat soon enough and got low blood sugar and snapped at the Mr., I've been feeling remarkably all right.
I've been reading websites that either say to go cold turkey or not to, but none of them say to drink massive amounts of water in one go at least twice a day. Maybe I've discovered something. Of course, if you decide to kick coffee cold turkey by drinking massive amounts of water, your experience may vary. All I can say is, try it. The worst that will happen is that you'll be nice and hydrated.
But back to the canning jar. I poured water into it nearly full and instead of sipping on it throughout the day, I chose to drink the entire jar of water. It holds 4 cups. I drank two of these the first day I went without coffee. I repeated this yesterday and I've already drunk my first jar this morning.
Here's what I notice. First, I'm on my third day of caffeine withdrawal. Granted, I haven't been drinking an excessive amount of coffee. But another time I decided to quit I had a horrible withdrawal period, even with only the 1-2 cup habit. I dreaded the period this time, and braced myself for it. But now I'm on day 3 and...no headache, no nausea, no body aches, no groggy feeling. I keep waiting for the shoe to fall, but so far, nothing.
I can't say for sure what is happening, or if the horrible withdrawal has only been postponed. But except for this morning when I didn't eat soon enough and got low blood sugar and snapped at the Mr., I've been feeling remarkably all right.
I've been reading websites that either say to go cold turkey or not to, but none of them say to drink massive amounts of water in one go at least twice a day. Maybe I've discovered something. Of course, if you decide to kick coffee cold turkey by drinking massive amounts of water, your experience may vary. All I can say is, try it. The worst that will happen is that you'll be nice and hydrated.
Day 7 - Meditation
These past two days I've been working with sitting meditation for the first time in a very long time. Previously, I lived among a community of Buddhists at the Dharma House in Boulder, CO and began to practice meditation by osmosis. But I never considered myself a Buddhist, nor did I choose to follow that path.
Since then, I've tapped two other traditions, one Hindu and one Left Hand Path. Neither of them gave me the tools I needed personally to live my life, which has been spiritually fallow for too long. I'm definitely not interested in "joining" any religion. Nope. Been there, done that, and it gives me the willies. But at the same time, I've been missing something in my life, which has felt flat for a very long time.
Of all the paths I've touched, I have the least hesitation with Buddhist meditation and mindfulness. It feels comfortable enough for me to settle down and allow it to expand my being. It brings with it the least negative reactions, the least wariness, the least attachment to things that leave me empty and hurting.
What does this have to do with herbs? All I can say is that plants and herbs are spirit in their own way, their healing power, their wisdom, the things they can teach us if we only open ourselves to them. It seems to me that one must be in a receptive state of mind to benefit from their teachings. And my mind has been anything except receptive. I've been rushing around, anxious, gloomy, excitable, hurt, angry, and every emotion other humans have, letting my emotions hold sway over my life like clouds over the sun.
Now I already know that Buddhism isn't an easy path. In fact, it's very demanding, but in a healing way. It's cleansing, restorative, and gently pushes one to become more aware and responsible for one's life. Not to say I'm going to "become" a Buddhist. But I discovered some wonderful audio files that re-introduced me to the power of meditation practice as well as made me aware of how much I don't know.
The beauty of listening to audio files is that for now I'm not distracted by personalities in a larger group of practitioners. There always seem to be the dominant group and the "followers" and a wide variety of each, but I keep my distance from the dominant ones because I'm always hyper-aware that they might be setting up hierarchies as well as control of the "followers." My experience shows me that it's human nature to do so, but that Buddhism has had the least penchant to fall into that trap. At any rate, I can practice acclimating myself to the ways without anyone's ego in the room except my own.
And I have caffeine and weight issues which I think can be addressed by regular mindful practice both formal and in my daily life. I'm going to give it a try...well, more than a try. I'm going to dedicate myself to this practice for a time and see what comes of it.
I think I'll build myself a meditation bench similar to the one pictured above. It's 16" long x 8" wide x 7 1/4" high with torque hinges.
Since then, I've tapped two other traditions, one Hindu and one Left Hand Path. Neither of them gave me the tools I needed personally to live my life, which has been spiritually fallow for too long. I'm definitely not interested in "joining" any religion. Nope. Been there, done that, and it gives me the willies. But at the same time, I've been missing something in my life, which has felt flat for a very long time.
Of all the paths I've touched, I have the least hesitation with Buddhist meditation and mindfulness. It feels comfortable enough for me to settle down and allow it to expand my being. It brings with it the least negative reactions, the least wariness, the least attachment to things that leave me empty and hurting.
What does this have to do with herbs? All I can say is that plants and herbs are spirit in their own way, their healing power, their wisdom, the things they can teach us if we only open ourselves to them. It seems to me that one must be in a receptive state of mind to benefit from their teachings. And my mind has been anything except receptive. I've been rushing around, anxious, gloomy, excitable, hurt, angry, and every emotion other humans have, letting my emotions hold sway over my life like clouds over the sun.
Now I already know that Buddhism isn't an easy path. In fact, it's very demanding, but in a healing way. It's cleansing, restorative, and gently pushes one to become more aware and responsible for one's life. Not to say I'm going to "become" a Buddhist. But I discovered some wonderful audio files that re-introduced me to the power of meditation practice as well as made me aware of how much I don't know.
The beauty of listening to audio files is that for now I'm not distracted by personalities in a larger group of practitioners. There always seem to be the dominant group and the "followers" and a wide variety of each, but I keep my distance from the dominant ones because I'm always hyper-aware that they might be setting up hierarchies as well as control of the "followers." My experience shows me that it's human nature to do so, but that Buddhism has had the least penchant to fall into that trap. At any rate, I can practice acclimating myself to the ways without anyone's ego in the room except my own.
And I have caffeine and weight issues which I think can be addressed by regular mindful practice both formal and in my daily life. I'm going to give it a try...well, more than a try. I'm going to dedicate myself to this practice for a time and see what comes of it.
I think I'll build myself a meditation bench similar to the one pictured above. It's 16" long x 8" wide x 7 1/4" high with torque hinges.
Day 6 - Kicking Coffee
I'm beginning to see just what a creature of habit I am. My only life-long habit has been an addiction, and that addiction is coffee.
Yes, coffee is an herb. The world runs on it, and I mean runs. Literally. My story is that my grandfather (who I dearly loved) was a coffee devotee who perked his coffee just as regularly as he wound his old mantel clock with a key.
When I was three or four, he used to take coffee to everyone in the house as they woke up--my parents and grandmother appreciated it. But he saw that I was left out, so he brought me milk with a little coffee in it. Gradually, the ratio of milk to coffee changed from less milk to more coffee.
And so, I've been a life-long coffee drinker. To be honest, I've gone months, even years without drinking it for various reasons, mostly health-related. But I always return to it because I've always (and I mean always) loved its aroma, its taste, and its effects. But I've always drunk it just the way my grandfather introduced it to me: with milk, or cream of some kind. Not black. No sugar. He meant no harm to me, but sometimes I wish I'd never acquired the habit. It's my only addiction. I guess you could say there are far worse ones, but coffee is something that's helped to define my life and my relation to it.
Not always a good thing, regardless of its benefits. For one thing, I'm now a chronic insomniac. I'm not saying coffee is the sole cause, but I know I'd probably relax better at night if there weren't traces of caffeine in my blood. I would like to be able to sit still, too. I have about a three-second attention span, so let's just say meditation hasn't been on my to-do list. I'm trying to be a writer, but with such a short attention span, I haven't produced one published work in my entire life. Should I blame it on coffee? I don't know.
On the one hand, drinking a cup of joe in the morning gets my brain fired up to read and write for awhile, yes. But in the long run, it's counter-productive, to say nothing about how it's ruining my adrenal system, liver, blood pressure, etc. And I'm kind of a coffee snob, too. If the beans were ground over a week before, they go stale--they lose their aroma and taste. So I buy these little bags of locally-roasted coffee at around $11-12 a pop. Even though I only drink 1-2 cups a day, the $ adds up fast. And I'm also averaging about 1-2 hours of sleep at night. I'm not kidding.
Here is your brain on coffee withdrawal
Several times I've weaned myself from coffee. Here's how I did it. Using a French press, I'd use less and less grounds every morning, trick my brain into a very slow withdrawal so I didn't get the headache and my brain didn't shrivel like salt on a snail. I was actually successful, but life wasn't as fun, and whenever I missed the ubiquitous aroma, I was like a dry drunk or a junkie on methadone. Who said coffee isn't a social drug?
Yeah, that's kinda melodramatic, but nonetheless, I had issues. I didn't stay off it very long. The older I get, the more difficult it becomes. So I've been browsing to learn other methods, like mix with decaf or switch to tea for awhile. But tea jacks my appetite beyond tolerance. Another method is to replace half the cups of coffee with tea, and gradually replace the coffee and tea with other warm liquids. Here's a pretty good strategy, even if it seems a bit righteous, it's worth a read. Using meditation for the coffee addict is kind of an oxymoron, but I guess it might work for some people. Might as well just go cold turkey. But OMG that is dreadful. I sort of understand what kicking heroin or cigarettes must be like.
Yes, coffee is an herb. The world runs on it, and I mean runs. Literally. My story is that my grandfather (who I dearly loved) was a coffee devotee who perked his coffee just as regularly as he wound his old mantel clock with a key.
When I was three or four, he used to take coffee to everyone in the house as they woke up--my parents and grandmother appreciated it. But he saw that I was left out, so he brought me milk with a little coffee in it. Gradually, the ratio of milk to coffee changed from less milk to more coffee.
And so, I've been a life-long coffee drinker. To be honest, I've gone months, even years without drinking it for various reasons, mostly health-related. But I always return to it because I've always (and I mean always) loved its aroma, its taste, and its effects. But I've always drunk it just the way my grandfather introduced it to me: with milk, or cream of some kind. Not black. No sugar. He meant no harm to me, but sometimes I wish I'd never acquired the habit. It's my only addiction. I guess you could say there are far worse ones, but coffee is something that's helped to define my life and my relation to it.
Not always a good thing, regardless of its benefits. For one thing, I'm now a chronic insomniac. I'm not saying coffee is the sole cause, but I know I'd probably relax better at night if there weren't traces of caffeine in my blood. I would like to be able to sit still, too. I have about a three-second attention span, so let's just say meditation hasn't been on my to-do list. I'm trying to be a writer, but with such a short attention span, I haven't produced one published work in my entire life. Should I blame it on coffee? I don't know.
On the one hand, drinking a cup of joe in the morning gets my brain fired up to read and write for awhile, yes. But in the long run, it's counter-productive, to say nothing about how it's ruining my adrenal system, liver, blood pressure, etc. And I'm kind of a coffee snob, too. If the beans were ground over a week before, they go stale--they lose their aroma and taste. So I buy these little bags of locally-roasted coffee at around $11-12 a pop. Even though I only drink 1-2 cups a day, the $ adds up fast. And I'm also averaging about 1-2 hours of sleep at night. I'm not kidding.
Here is your brain on coffee withdrawal
If you quit ingesting coffee ‘cold turkey’, your brain begins to reduce the number of receptors right away. But the process takes about two weeks, and during that time your body sends out mild ‘distress signals’ in the form of headaches, lethargy, fatigue, muscle pain, nausea, and sometimes even stiffness and flu-like symptoms. As a result most doctors recommend cutting out caffeine gradually.
Several times I've weaned myself from coffee. Here's how I did it. Using a French press, I'd use less and less grounds every morning, trick my brain into a very slow withdrawal so I didn't get the headache and my brain didn't shrivel like salt on a snail. I was actually successful, but life wasn't as fun, and whenever I missed the ubiquitous aroma, I was like a dry drunk or a junkie on methadone. Who said coffee isn't a social drug?
Yeah, that's kinda melodramatic, but nonetheless, I had issues. I didn't stay off it very long. The older I get, the more difficult it becomes. So I've been browsing to learn other methods, like mix with decaf or switch to tea for awhile. But tea jacks my appetite beyond tolerance. Another method is to replace half the cups of coffee with tea, and gradually replace the coffee and tea with other warm liquids. Here's a pretty good strategy, even if it seems a bit righteous, it's worth a read. Using meditation for the coffee addict is kind of an oxymoron, but I guess it might work for some people. Might as well just go cold turkey. But OMG that is dreadful. I sort of understand what kicking heroin or cigarettes must be like.
Day 4 - Some Healing Links
Here are a few random links that lead along various paths of knowledge. I'll be adding more as time goes on.
- Erowid
- Alternative Nature Online Herbal
- Mountain Rose Herbs
- Washington Homeopathic Products
- Dandelion Botanicals Company
- Masaobu Fukuoka's Do Nothing Farming
- Guide to Wild Foods & Useful Plants
- Green People Meta Search
- Natural Cures
- Herb Med
- Hyland's Homeopathy (still offers remedies in x potencies)
- Ayurveda
- The True Power of Water
- Hidden Messages in Water
- Water Therapy
Day 3 - Healing My Own Body
I've had severe arthritis in my knees for the past two years or so. Which makes sense, actually, because I have Saturn in Virgo, which has been in return that long. Saturn is the Taskmaster. It rules the bones and knees; it's all about restriction. And Virgo rules the health of those body parts. I've been unable to exercise, even do yoga without considerable pain and very limited movements. Sometimes even going down the stairs was too painful.
Conventional health practitioners advise either cortisone injections or surgery. I wasn't interested in either. Alternative health practitioners such as acupuncturists and chiropractors said they couldn't help me. Even my homeopath finally came to the bottom of his bag of tricks and asked me what I wanted to do. I said, "I don't know. You're the doctor."
I limped out of his office, just as I'd limped out of every other place, on my own. If I had to become my own doctor, then my motto became Doctor, heal thyself.
For a long time I floundered. I studied. I experimented. Finally I read some good things about various herbs and I set to work formulating my own tincture and salve with herbs I had to order online, since they weren't available locally. None of them are all that rare or expensive. Here they are:
Solomon seal, ledum, ruta graveolens, comfrey, gravel root, horsetail, cinqfoil, and a few others. I'll have to go find my list to finish adding them, but there weren't that many. I've been rubbing the salve on every night and morning and taking the tincture (for internal healing) whenever I remember. Before I walk or whenever my knee aches, I apply the salve. Soon I'll post a recipe how to make salves and another to make tinctures.
Anyway, it's been two or three months and my knee feels 80-90 percent better depending on the barometric pressure (yup, I'm one of those people who notice symptoms getting worse with changes in weather). I'm so impressed that I'm going to keep rubbing in the salve and taking the tincture for as long as they take to heal the bone, tendons, ligaments, and connective tissue. Hooray for DIY!
And Saturn moving out of Virgo next month will also be a relief.
Conventional health practitioners advise either cortisone injections or surgery. I wasn't interested in either. Alternative health practitioners such as acupuncturists and chiropractors said they couldn't help me. Even my homeopath finally came to the bottom of his bag of tricks and asked me what I wanted to do. I said, "I don't know. You're the doctor."
I limped out of his office, just as I'd limped out of every other place, on my own. If I had to become my own doctor, then my motto became Doctor, heal thyself.
For a long time I floundered. I studied. I experimented. Finally I read some good things about various herbs and I set to work formulating my own tincture and salve with herbs I had to order online, since they weren't available locally. None of them are all that rare or expensive. Here they are:
Solomon seal, ledum, ruta graveolens, comfrey, gravel root, horsetail, cinqfoil, and a few others. I'll have to go find my list to finish adding them, but there weren't that many. I've been rubbing the salve on every night and morning and taking the tincture (for internal healing) whenever I remember. Before I walk or whenever my knee aches, I apply the salve. Soon I'll post a recipe how to make salves and another to make tinctures.
Anyway, it's been two or three months and my knee feels 80-90 percent better depending on the barometric pressure (yup, I'm one of those people who notice symptoms getting worse with changes in weather). I'm so impressed that I'm going to keep rubbing in the salve and taking the tincture for as long as they take to heal the bone, tendons, ligaments, and connective tissue. Hooray for DIY!
And Saturn moving out of Virgo next month will also be a relief.
Day 2 - Making Herbal Medicnes
There are specific herbs that can be made into salves, tinctures, teas, and any number of other additions to your medicine cabinet. I first began experimenting with herbs many years ago when I found a copy of Jethro Kloss's Back to Eden. The link I provide here is for the actual edition I used. I still have it and it's falling apart. Since then, scores of herbal books have appeared in bookshops and online, some of them reprints of old guides like Back to Eden. Kloss was what was known as a "hygenist" back in the 1930s when he did his work. Much of his advice is unusable, but there wasn't much out there in the 1970s when I first came acrossd his book.
My favorite book these days is The Herbal Medicine Book by James Green. His knowledge is deep and wide and sees plants as sacred, so I respect his guidance. I've learned how to make many useful healing preparations using this book. He is detailed and meticulous. If you aren't a scientist, he also encourages you to use your intuition. If you can afford only one herbal medicinal book, I recommend James Green's wonderful book.
There are also countless resources online, of course, and in later posts I'll recommend some of my favorites.
My favorite book these days is The Herbal Medicine Book by James Green. His knowledge is deep and wide and sees plants as sacred, so I respect his guidance. I've learned how to make many useful healing preparations using this book. He is detailed and meticulous. If you aren't a scientist, he also encourages you to use your intuition. If you can afford only one herbal medicinal book, I recommend James Green's wonderful book.
There are also countless resources online, of course, and in later posts I'll recommend some of my favorites.
Day 1 - Healing and Intuition
If you aspire to learn about herbs, not only their names and physical properties but also their incredible healing powers, you might consider keeping a digital journal like this one or/and a paper journal that pleases you to work with. The reason I suggest this is so you can keep track of your journey. It's an intensely personal relationship you will have with herbs.
Yes, you can certainly be a botanist or medical anthropologist, or any number of "-ists." If so, you might not be impressed with my discoveries. But my path has been intuitive from the beginning. I don't weigh or measure things all that much. I go by what the herbs tell me and what feels right. My only advice to you is to be true to yourself and to trust yourself. If you've been trained or feel the need to weigh and measure and work with meticulous care, then by all means, go with that.
Certainly, indiginous people learned what they know through their senses, their intuitions, their dreams, and other timeless ways of knowing. They had no laboratories. The learned by trial and error. And they survived and thrived without any help from the so-called "civlized" world. Some, like the Australian aboriginals, have been on Earth for over 40,000 years. And they didn't need penicillin or Ritalin to carry their generations forward through the millennia.
Yes, you can certainly be a botanist or medical anthropologist, or any number of "-ists." If so, you might not be impressed with my discoveries. But my path has been intuitive from the beginning. I don't weigh or measure things all that much. I go by what the herbs tell me and what feels right. My only advice to you is to be true to yourself and to trust yourself. If you've been trained or feel the need to weigh and measure and work with meticulous care, then by all means, go with that.
Certainly, indiginous people learned what they know through their senses, their intuitions, their dreams, and other timeless ways of knowing. They had no laboratories. The learned by trial and error. And they survived and thrived without any help from the so-called "civlized" world. Some, like the Australian aboriginals, have been on Earth for over 40,000 years. And they didn't need penicillin or Ritalin to carry their generations forward through the millennia.
Welcome to Marie's Herbary
No, this isn't an online store. I'm not selling anything. This is my journal of healing through herbs. I'm beginning this journey on April 30, springtime, when new life rises into the eternal return, cycles and renewal. The eternal feminine is also rising, quietly, slowly, but reassuring.
My posts will be infrequent, but they will faithfully record my successes with all manner of discoveries I've made about the kind and generous power of sacred herbs of all kinds. I'm neither a scientist nor a practitioner nor a witch. My only claim is that I deeply respect the sacred, healing realm of herbs.
I will cite books and other resources along with my own personal experiences. If anyone happens by to sample my findings, I bid them a beautiful welcome. Leave a comment if you wish, and if not, may She bless you with her boundless generosity.
My posts will be infrequent, but they will faithfully record my successes with all manner of discoveries I've made about the kind and generous power of sacred herbs of all kinds. I'm neither a scientist nor a practitioner nor a witch. My only claim is that I deeply respect the sacred, healing realm of herbs.
I will cite books and other resources along with my own personal experiences. If anyone happens by to sample my findings, I bid them a beautiful welcome. Leave a comment if you wish, and if not, may She bless you with her boundless generosity.
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